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Argentina
Argentina is a country in South America. By default this makes it inferior to The United States of America and all things related to Kenny Rogers. It borders five nations, but the only two that matter are Chile and Rio de Janiero. Its capital Buenos Aires is called the Paris of the south - says it all doesn't it. History 6 AD- Argentina wins their first World Cup 1285 AD- 1778 AD- Argentina was ruled by the great leader Trogdor and his spawn including Scweedley and Meedley 1801 AD- Chinese food is first introduced to Argentina by Jack Bauer 1888 AD- Chile annexes Argentina, but only 2 of the members of the UN Security Council ratify the decision (the United States of America and France). Officially, Argentina is still independent, but it is actually a puppet state, like Cuba, only without the Communists 1940 AD- Juan Peron comes to power 1948 AD- Evita assassinates Juan Peron by using her liberal powers of Kabala 1988 AD- The Arizona Cardinals move to Buenos Aires Government Since the death of her husband, Juan Peron, Argentina has been led by his wife Evita who is also known as Madonna. Madonna has ruthlessly ruled Argentina and oppressed its inhabitants into slavery by forcing them to listen to songs such as "Like A Virgin", "Don't Cry For Me Argentina", and "Seasons of Love". It has been rumored that Madonna is secretly siphoning money off of the national treasury to buy many things French, but it has not been proven. If allegations are true, Americans should remember that it is not the fault of the people of Argentina, rather its leader should be at blame. After Madonna moved to Hollywood, Argetina's military took over the government and had 366 presidents in just three weeks. But all is cool now, they another woman as a president, Cristina Fernández de Kirchner!... What could possibly go wrong? Economy "wait.... they have money??" ~ Mutopis Argentina’s economy was so bad, that even the rich people were poor! An Argentinian family could change their A10,000 Australles for one whole dollar! With Argetina’s currency depreciation rate, if you were lucky, you could use the bills as toilet paper by the end of the day. The Australles was such a despised currency that the Argetinian people preffered to be paid in American Dollars… they love Dollars therefore they love America! (guess which part is true...) Argentina’s commie economy was destroying the country; it had a rampant hyperinflation that was going out of control. But then a very enlightened pro businessman, Domingo Cavallo, took over Argentina’s Ministry of Economy and brought radical reforms to its economy! First they took all of the Australles in the country and toss them into the sea (at this time they were too worthless to use as toilet paper) and they replaced the currency with the Peso. But they went further with their economic policies with a very ingenious plan, to make sure they could stop inflation they decided to peg the value of the Peso to the dollar, thus artificially fixing its monetary value to that of America’s! Ingenious!! The master plan worked! Soon inflation dropped sharply, price stability was assured, and the value of the currency was preserved. The new Dollar Peso raised the quality of life for many Argetinians, making them rich overnight! Now they could buy crap from other countries or ask for credits in dollars at very low interest rates. Even Gorlock thought it was a good idea to invest in Argetina and buy lots of Pesos. I mean what could possibly go wrong? Sure Argentina has lots of international debts to pay, forcing them to keep borrowing money from other countries just to keep their economy afloat. Or the problem that the fixed exchange rate is making imports so cheap, that is producing a constant flight of dollars away from the country and a progressive loss of Argentina's industrial infrastructure, which is leading to an increase in unemployment. But at least they stop being communists! Gorlock you own me money!!! Argentinas are dependent solely on the Llama for their livelihood at the moment. Culture Argentina is known for very little culturally, but its main two contributions to global culture are the Arizona Cardinals and Pele. The Cardinals moved to Buenos Aires in 1988 from St. Louis to avoid confusion with the baseball team located there. Though Republicans offically recognize the Cardinals move to South America, liberal media says that they currently reside in Arizona. However, this is false, as the cardinal is a moderate climate bird (much like Rush Limbaugh), and would never survive the warm climate of Arizona. What the Hell is Tango? also known as "one of the dances in the world" Military Religion Argentina's Socialist Policies The Wymins It is a well known fact that Argentinian women are HAWT. Just ask Governor Mark Sanford! External Tubes *Argentinian Girls are Hawt!